don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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