What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he puts the penis in happiness.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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