I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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