So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
