i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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