sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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