Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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