By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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