why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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