no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
