Small penises have feelings too.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
