Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
