if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Randomize
