I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Do vagina's smell?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the day after is always just damage control
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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