I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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