She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
my liver is dry heaving
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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