She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
