so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Be still, my beating vagina.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
