If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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