Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
