just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
