Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Let the clothes fall where they may.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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