I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
