Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
