shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
