Quick, to the slutcave!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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