my mouth tastes like poor choices
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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