im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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