i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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