Barsexuality is the new black.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
