They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I smell like Dick and happiness
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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