I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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