i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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