You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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