didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
