Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
did i just pee glitter
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
