I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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