I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My life is pants optional.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
