How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
