i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Randomize
