the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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