for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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