this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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