so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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