Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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