Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
