I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
