My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
