Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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