but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
