who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
