My friends, they love my intelligence
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
