pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
